Navigating Trust and Trauma: Lessons from a Journey in Building Social Connections

Trust feels fragile when trauma shadows your past. For many of us, especially those of us who are autistic or grew up with narcissistic parents, deciding whom to trust can feel like walking a tightrope. Trauma recovery is a winding path, and separating the truth from the echoes of past pain is one of the hardest steps. I want to share how this relates to Valencia Vasquez, the protagonist who embodies this struggle. She is enigmatic, keeps her life close to the chest, and often wrestles with difficult thoughts alone. Her journey, which mirrors mine, offers insights into building social connections despite the weight of trauma.

Valencia gazes into a glass case, her reflection intermingling with store products.

Understanding the Challenge of Trust After Trauma

Trauma alters our perception of the world and the people in it. When your past includes emotional wounds, especially from narcissistic parents, trust becomes complicated. You learn to expect manipulation or rejection, or misjudgments based on both, so opening up feels risky. For autistic adults, this challenge can be even greater. Social cues might feel confusing, and rumination can trap you in cycles of doubt, fear, and the need for justice.

Valencia Vasquez’s story resonates with this because she faces these exact struggles. She doesn’t share much about her life, not because she’s inherently malicious and cares little for others, but because she had to learn to emotionally protect herself, as evidenced in stories like "Fatal Obsession Part I." Her silence is a shield, a way to avoid being hurt again. Yet, beneath that shield, there is a desire for connection and healing through talking to someone about her feelings.

How Trauma Shapes Social Decisions

• Hyper vigilance: Always on alert for signs of betrayal or harm.

• Rumination: Replaying conversations or events, questioning what you could have done, and wanting a different outcome where the other person suffers.

• Isolation: Choosing solitude over risky social interactions.

• Mixed Signals: Difficulty distinguishing between genuine kindness and manipulation.

  
  

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward healing through art, therapy, or other creative outlets. For me, expressing feelings through painting or writing has helped untangle the threads of trauma from reality.

Separating Truth from Trauma

One of the hardest parts of trauma recovery is learning to tell what is true from what trauma makes you believe. Valencia’s approach is quiet but powerful. She tackles difficult thoughts alone, which can be both a strength and a challenge.

Here are some ways I started separating truth from trauma:

• Using "as evidence by" thoughts: When a thought or feeling arises, I ask myself if there is clear evidence, or if it’s a fear rooted in past pain.

• Seek outside perspectives: Therapists or support groups can offer a reality check.

• Practice self-compassion: Understanding my reactions is a new habit I'm working to practice more often, and being less critical when I catch myself slipping.

• Using creative outlets: Healing through art can reveal hidden feelings and help process complex emotions.

  
  

For example, I once felt convinced that a friend’s delayed reply meant they were upset with me. After journaling and discussing it with a therapist, I realized it was my trauma speaking, not the reality of the situation.

Valencia, in slight distress, holds her head, possibly in regret.

Building Social Connections

Valencia’s story teaches that building trust doesn’t mean rushing to share everything or forcing connections, mistakes that I have made and currently in the process of working on. It means moving at your own pace and honoring your boundaries.

Practical Steps to Build Trust

• Start small: Share little things first and observe how people respond.

• Set clear boundaries: Know what you are comfortable sharing and stick to it.

• Listen to your instincts: If something feels off, it probably is.

• Allow time: Trust grows slowly, especially when trauma is involved.

• Celebrate progress: Every small step toward connection is a victory.

  
  

Valencia’s tendency to tackle thoughts alone can be a way to prepare herself before opening up, whether she realizes this or not. This strategy can work well if balanced with moments of reaching out. For autistic adults, this might mean scheduling social time with clear expectations or using written communication to reduce pressure.

Millennial Trauma Healing and Community

Many millennials, including myself, carry the weight of generational trauma. Healing through art and trauma recovery practices has become a vital tool. Valencia’s journey (her fight as the vigilante "Belza") reflects this broader movement toward understanding and reclaiming our social lives despite past wounds.

Joining communities that focus on trauma recovery or autistic support can provide safe spaces to practice trust. These groups often emphasize empathy, patience, and shared experiences, which can feel like a balm for those who struggle to connect.

Valencia sweats in an awkward situation.

Moving Forward with Hope and Intention

Trust and trauma are deeply intertwined, but they don’t have to define your social life. Valencia Vasquez’s journey shows that it’s possible to protect yourself while still seeking connection. By separating trauma from truth, using creative healing methods, and taking small, intentional steps, you can build relationships that feel safe and genuine.

If you find yourself stuck in rumination or fear, remember that healing through art or community support can open new doors. Trust is not about perfection; it’s about learning to believe in yourself and others again, one step at a time.

Your next step might be as simple as writing down your feelings, joining a support group, or sharing a small truth with someone you trust. Each action moves you closer to a life where trauma no longer controls your social choices.